I am still siiiiick. I made it to work today, but it was not fun. I almost got up and meditated before work, but I opted to try and eat something instead as sort of an insurance policy that I wouldn't be getting sick on the train (which has happened before). The day was fortunately busy enough to keep me mostly distracted from how I felt and not SO busy that I regretted showing up. It was actually nice to get back into my routine.
Meditating last night was incredibly difficult. I thought I had the perfect opportunity because my stomach wasn't feeling too badly and my pup was calmly lying on the floor. Of course the second I sat up he was all "what's going on? are you you going somewhere? should I be interested?" I stubbornly thought to myself, "well any real meditating-type-person can overcome an anxious dog for 10 measly minutes", so I decided to just get right to it and let him wonder around the house. WELL. At first I was distracted by the clacking of his toenails on the floor and then I was just concerned when I didn't hear anything at all. And when I finally opened my eyes he was up on my coffee table licking a half eaten PB&J... At that point there was one minute left, so I just closed my eyes and waited for my cell phone alarm to go off.
So yeah, not very successful. However, there were a few brief moments where I was able to slip into a relaxed trance and abandon other thoughts, so successful in the eyes of the Buddhist faith (this is important to remember if you are just starting off folks; if you can let your mind go for just one moment, you have successfully mediated, YAY). I am actually quite proud of this considering I haven't meditated outside of Yoga class in at least 4 months. Just like with most things in life, lack of practice makes meditating more difficult and less fulfilling. Personally, I find studying Buddhism in conjunction with meditating the most successful, which is why I'm excited to get back to my readings and temple attending-ness. For me, it provides some guidance and focus. Once I start up my readings, I may start assigning a weekly theme to my meditation sessions. We shall see.
Here are my highs as promised, and once again, I will be meditating later this evening *Sigh*:
- The new guy at work seems pretty cool
- I didn't get annoyed enough to raise my stress level today (this is HARD in NY)
- left work on time
- worked harder than I had to