Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Back to Reality

This post is brought to you via my office. Yes I am still at work and yes this is regular thing. In my opinion, today is where the real challenge of this project begins. Working late means less time to meditate, exercise, blog and all that, but it also means applying the stress that can trigger old thought patterns. I did ok today. I recognized a lot of behavioral patterns in others which made me feel pretty calm. If someone always behaves the same way, it can't be you causing it and the only thing you can really change is the way you react to it. I don't have time to delve too deeply, but I am really noticing how working on one's mind and attitude everyday can significantly alter a life. Just think of it this way, you should practice being happy in equal or more proportion to the amount you practice being grumpy...
If that's too overwhelming (some of us practice being grumpy A LOT) just think, there are only so many hours in the day, so if I spend a few practicing being happy, then I am taking time away from being grumpy, in essence, being grumpy less. Then pretty soon you could be grumpyless. Ah math. Ah The Bolshevik Revolution. (The later is a joke from AP History in high school where we were discussing something to do with the Bolsheviks and my friend just said, "ah The Bolshevik Revolution". We found it very funny and started saying it at random. Sometimes I still do.)

Meditated this morning for 15 minutes, got incredibly distracted, but it still helped  me prepare for the day.

- overcame major stress with minimal effort
- helped a coworker which made me feel knowledgeable and compassionate (or something)
- don't even really mind that I'm still at work
- had delicious free sesame crusted rare tuna with wasabi mashed(how pretentious is it when people say "smashed") potatoes (perk of the job)



  1. Excellent point about practicing being grumpy less. Heh. I should try that. Actually, I think I have been recently. Or at least I'm being more aware of when I am practicing being grumpy, rather than just doing it and being miserable and not really understanding why.

    Something that I still struggle with on a regular basis is other people's behavior. (not to mention my own, of course) I had to learn that my mother's behavior has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with me. But sometimes I have an issue applying that to other people. Because as much as I sometimes *want* to make someone else's behavior all about me, (and take it personally, and blah blah blah) I know that the way they're behaving is 100% due to them, their choices, how they choose to react to things, what ever happened to them earlier, etc etc etc. My being there is simply coincidental. There is no grand plan for the world to piss me off (even when I might be acting like there is).

    And I'm rambling. And I haven't had coffee. But the whole thing comes back down to compassion for me. If Bruce is being hypercritical of me, it takes a lot of compassion to step back from the "FUCK YOU, BRUCE" to going "ok, what's happening here? Hmm. Bruce is nervous about his dental appointment. Ok. That's why he's acting the way he is. It doesn't have anything to do with me. I should try to have more compassion for him, even if he is acting like a douche, because now I know where the douchiness is coming from."

    Let's just say THAT doesn't happen as often as it could. Heh.

    Another thing that helps me is Byron Katie's "The Work." Here's a link:

    It's pretty brutal. The first time I read her book I pretty much fell apart. And it helped me last night when I was getting ticked at the husband. The work is basically to turn around the base thought that is making you unhappy to see if you can come up with something that is more true.

    For instance:

    Bruce shouldn't be so critical of me.

    Turned around to:

    I shouldn't be so critical of Bruce.

    Turned around to:

    I shouldn't be so critical of me.

    Oh yeah. That last one is SUPER true. The second one is pretty damn true too. So yeah.

  2. Also, I meditated last night. It sucked. I couldn't keep my mind calm at all. And, going back to the work I did last night, "I shouldn't be so critical of me."