Sunday, February 6, 2011

Winter Weekends

This winter weather is really making me sooooo tired. When I finally reach the weekend, after battling snow and ice all week, all I want to do is hibernate on the couch all day (and into the wee hours of the night). I'm not saying there's anything wrong with taking a day (or two) of rest, but when I reach the end of my weekend I'm finding myself a little disappointed, as well as, overwhelmed by all the things I did not accomplish. I'm also feeling that my practice suffers because for me, lying on the couch all day makes me feel more tired and achy than actually getting up and doing something. Once I waste that day on the couch, forget about having the energy to meditate or do some yoga without feeling completely run down and distracted. Anyone else ever experience this?

Needless to say, my Saturday mediation did not go so well. It was a half-assed attempt at nearly 2am that lasted about 10 minutes before my roommate came home and I used his distraction as an excuse to stop (although he just came in and went straight to his bedroom). I also did not exercise, although I am going to take the dog on a run this afternoon since it's sunny for once. This with the insanity workout once again brings me to two days of physical activity (not 3 as planned). I'm having trouble getting in the workouts, but I am trying and once the weather warms up I'll be riding my bike to and from work. I need to accept that if I want to get in 3 workouts a week, I need to go to the gym BEFORE work.

My Friday meditation was a guided 15 minutes. It's very basic and I think that's why I like it. I made sure to do it before I went out, so I didn't find myself in another situation where I was trying to meditate drunk at 3am. It's a good thing I predicted this because I did not get home until after 5am (I wonder if that had something to do with me spending the day on the couch? Although, for the record I was not hung over, just very tired).

On a side note, my friend Virginia sent me this article about meditation from the NY Times. It's cool to see people are studying the benefits of meditation and actually finding arguably tangible differences in people's brains.

My week of getting up early went well. I never managed to get up right at 7, but I did get up about 20 minutes earlier than my normal average, which was an improvement. For this week, I will still be aiming for 7 and then maybe the following week I can start getting up early enough to work out. The possibilities are endless friends!

I'm still feeling a bit all over the place as far as my thoughts. I've found a good outlet for them is to spend some time in my room doing whatever: reading, drawing, cleaning, just NOT sitting on the couch or the computer. As I said before, I tend to do that when I'm feeling run down, but it never seems to help much in large doses. I think I'm vegging out too much and not giving my brain any stimulation. An hour or so a night of mindless TV is plenty for me, I just need to remind myself of that. I should also note that I'm speaking particularly of episodic TV and mindless internet browsing, not watching a movie (which for me is very cognitive) or reading thoughtful articles and blogs. It's different for everyone, but I think you know what I'm talking about. Everyone has that thing they do when they just really want to do NOTHING and sometimes it's very helpful and then other times it becomes a habit. I'm feeling like I'm on the verge of habit right now. Dear spring, please get here soon.

- made new friends and had a great time with old ones
- nice meditation

- lots of R&R
- was able to observe my habits and articulate what needs to change

- it's Sunny and not totally freezing
- going out for a run with my pup
- have some lovely evening plans
- feeling much more motivated


  1. The weather has been tough lately. The endless days of overcast skies have worn on me lately.

    Plus, you know I'm feeling hormotional.

    Also, had some 4/16 related nightmareage/paranoia going on the past few days, so that wasn't fun. Isn't fun. Not fun. Really not at all. I feel stupid as hell getting all worked up over it, because I wasn't even there, but then again, my husband, you and many other good friends were, and I lost some folks that I knew...

    Good news is, it was sunny today and we went down to the Chinese New Year parade in Chinatown. While we were expecting it to be touristy hell (and it was, to some extent). it was also a surprisingly touching celebration of Chinese heritage and American patriotism.

    Lots of rabbits.

  2. Yeah the hormotional is tough, I have crazy hormotionally charged dreams at times of hormotionalness,

    The 4/16 thing is bizarre especially because I found myself having a very long conversation about it tonight. I think it has been on mind as well. Don't feel stupid though, everyone was affected in different ways and no one person should or shouldn't be affected to any certain degree. If anything, I feel comforted when I see others are still affected by it. I know that "attachment" isn't very Buddhist, but it's nice to know that people haven't forgotten.

    If you want some cheering up though, you can always think of that one chick at the memorial gathering on the second year. You know who I mean.

    Weather was lovely indeed. Glad you had a nice day. You deserve it. I miss you guys :)