Wednesday - Thursday

Last night I could not find the computer charger, so I considered typing a post via iPhone, but decided to just wait. My meditation was spent fighting sleep, so I stopped after about 15 minutes of an intended 30. I have found that deciding on a focus before I begin leads to a more effective sit. When I don’t really consider what my approach will be I change it about every two minutes (during the meditation), so I’m unable to feel like I really accomplished anything. Ultimately, it felt great to get back to daily meditation.

Today I have not been in a very good mood. There is no particular reason. I just haven't felt quite right. The next few weekends are pretty busy for me, so I'm just feeling a bit out of control.

At work, I wasn't as pleasant as I could have been, but I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. I'm also trying to observe how I get caught up in gossip really easily and allow it to affect my opinions of people when it shouldn't because it's just gossip. More specifically, it tends to be people in a negative mindset practicing a lot of self-cherishing because most of the time it's about how this person or that person did something to them. I do it too and I've always noticed that I like to gossip, but I have been noticing how much it biases my view and always in a negative way. I need to work on forming my own opinions of people because when I focus on doing that along with being compassionate, I am a lot more at peace and have a healthier view of those around me. 

I haven't meditated tonight, but when I do I think I'm going to focus on compassion. Compassion for myself for my behavior today and compassion for everyone who is struggling with negative energy. 

Highs:

Wednesday 

- got to catch up with my friend rachel (she just got back from Colorado)

- was escorted to work by a very nice man ;)

- got to meditate!

Thursday:

- bad mood but still observant

- left wok early and got to be lazy

Laters!