1. Reading material doesn't run out of batteries
2. It doesn't disturb your neighbor
3. The Jonas Brothers are less embarrassing when being read about
4. If you get stuck on the train for a long time, you can eat it
5. People will think you're smart
For some time I have been carrying Time magazine, which was purchased for me as a gift, but I have been in search of something a little more substantial. I finally decided on The New Yorker and after two weeks of anticipation, I finally received my first issue. That's right, I subscribe to The New Yorker, and I am here to tell you, The New Yorker is cool.
For one, unlike Time, it has articles that are longer than a page and weren't on CNN a week earlier. Also, I just like what it seems to say about me. Reading Time I always felt like an AP government student. Now, with The New Yorker, I feel like an intellectual, somewhat liberal, honest-to-gosh, new yorker. It's like being part of an exclusive club. I don't even have to flash the cover because the cartoons are a dead giveaway (for others of my kind at least). I've already had at least three stimulating conversations that never would have happened if it weren't for this fine collection of modern literature conveniently delivered to my door.
In fact, the only thing that's not cool about me subscribing to The New Yorker, is how much I've been talking about the fact that I subscribe to The New Yorker. I keep interjecting into conversations with phrases like, "Yeah, I saw an interesting review of that in The New Yorker" or "according to The New Yorker..." I feel like Joey on that episode of Friends where he buys only the V volume of an encyclopedia and all he brings up in conversation are topics that start with V. How about that Vesuvius?