"I change shapes just to hide in this place, but I'm still, I'm still..."
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Going with the flow and hating every moment of it
Last night was tough. I found myself in a completely frustrated and helpless mindset for an hour or so. And later, when I was feeling better, I had the worst meditation I have ever had. It was 20 minutes of pure torture. For some reason, my body was totally panicking, it felt like what I would imagine a hot flash to feel like. I wanted so badly to get up and open the window, but I was determined to stay still and try to really feel what my body was going through. The entire meditation was a struggle, but I completed the 20 minutes and managed to not even check my alarm.
I'm guessing I was just going through some type of hormonal shiz for no real reason. I'm not going to fret over it for now, I'm just going to celebrate the fact that I stuck with it.