Life After Facebook

Tuesday July 28, 2009. That was the day I broke-up with Facebook. I'd been thinking about it for while, would I miss him? Was I willing to give him up forever? Were there other kinder, more affectionate social networks out there? Was I even the kind of girl who could have a social network? Maybe I could be one of those people who fill their lives with a bunch of email accounts.

When I finally decided to do it, he didn't make it easy. The first time I tried to tell him, he showed me all of my pictures with friends and said, "Momo will miss you, Misono will miss you, Jenna will miss you". When I ignored him he started to ask why. Was it because we spent too much time together? Was it because he didn't make me feel safe? I knew it wouldn't help to answer, so I said the only words that came to mind, "this isn't working out."

When he finally realized that I couldn't be swayed he conceded, but not without letting me know that he'd be there waiting for me. If I ever wanted to come back, all my friends and settings would be right there where I'd left them. We could pick up and forget the whole thing ever happened. If I wanted, we could still be friends and he would just send me emails letting me know if our mutual friends were having a party or something. I told him not to bother.

"What's done is done, let's not make this any more painful than it has to be", I pleaded.

A few hours later I thought it was all over, but then I checked my email and he had already emailed me to remind me of what I'd done. I felt terrible, but I knew I had made the right decision. The truth is, Facebook wasn't making me happy and hadn't been for a while. I found myself hanging out with him simply out of habit. I felt trapped, I wanted to be out in the world talking to people that I actually cared about. Instead, I was looking at wedding pictures of people I didn't even talk to when we lived in the same town. Also, the mystery was gone, I knew what everyone was doing all of the time and it turns out, most people are pretty boring. I also found out he was doing things behind my back and I felt like he wasn't the same person anymore.

Maybe I'll have regrets in the future, only time will tell, but for now I feel as free as a bird. I'm hoping to put all my extra time and energy into productive activities and keeping in touch with those who are in my life beyond Facebook. More importantly, I did this for myself and pass no judgement on those who enjoy Facebook. It just wasn't beneficial for me any longer.

Creep at My Party

Last Saturday, my friend Heather and I held out 4th annual underwear party. Throughout the course of the night a few random people wandered in. For the most part, the random peeps were pretty cool, but when it came time to leave one guy really wanted to stick around. I'm pretty sure he asked every girl at the party if he could go home with her and at one point I caught him laying in my roommate's bed.

Finally after everyone else had left, I got him half way out the door and this conversation ensued:

Creeper: Can I stay wit u?

Me: No sorry, I already have a lot of people staying at my place

Creeper: Aww, just give me a kiss

Me: ok *quick peck* (keep in mind I was drunk and somehow thought fulfilling his request would help the situation)

Creeper: Goodnight baby

Me: Bye

Creeper: Come on just touch it *grabs his junk*

Me: *shuts door*

First draft?

I wrote this today. I'm not sure it's finished and I'm not sure it's any good, but it expresses some things I need to get out and I feel better after writing it.

Elephant

On the first day she wore her favorite white pants. Perfection

for a day in June.

Intrigued,

the boy.

Taken even. Thoroughly,

taken.

Still he wanted,

still she wished.

Inevitably, yes!

Predictably, fail.

And then you ask me,

what kind of girl

does such a thing?

Can you say, new profile pic?

Yesterday after work I met up with Paul and Rugby Ryan (as some of you know him) at Paul's hotel on the LES. It was pretty sweet, so Ryan and I decided to do a little photo shoot while Paul got ready. You see, Ryan has been in search of the perfect facebook profile picture, something that says, "I'm fun and sensitive, but also maddeningly delicious." And well, I think we've got a few contenders. Thoughts? 

When I suggested he take his shirt off his exact words were, "I was just about to."

Paul NOT McDonald

My friend Paul DARNELL is coming to town today! He's a stuntman in LA and has worked on movies such as You Don't Mess with the Zohan, The Changeling, Race to Witch Mountain, and Twilight. He's a pretty big deal. I mean, look at him. In fact, he's such a big deal that Rob Pattinson thanked him publicly the other night on the MTV movie awards. 

So, why is Paul coming to New York? To work on another hit movie of course, a movie that happens to be a movie I've been anticipating for over a year, Step Up 3D. Yes, you read correctly, the step up series is back and coming to you in 3D. Hell. Yes. With any luck, this one will have even less plot and even more dancing. 

But in all seriousness guys, the real reason I'm excited to see Paul is because last time Paul came to New York, we had more fun than I feel comfortable detailing on the internet (no not that kind of fun, I wasn't that lucky). 

Anyway, rest assured, I will be having a magical time for the next few days. Cheers. 

Gummy Bear Brains

My coworker has been working on a little project. He got the idea from the internet and decided to take it to the next level. These are the results: 

Gummy with oozing brain. 

Frankenstein/Zombie brain. 

Gotta have heart.

This one was my idea...

Terminator. For this one we broke out the soldering iron. 

Summer Movies!

Me to coworker: Are you more excited about Half Blood Prince or Up? 

Coworker: My dog's name is Hagrid. 

Personally I'm still on the fence, but it's good to know where others stand. 

Creep with a Hose

I've been utterly exhausted for the past week. Maybe it's all the bike riding, or all the sun, but I think it's mostly all the stress. The summer is usually more laid back at my place of employment, but not this year. We've taken on job after job and as a result I think everyone is feeling the pending burn-out. Not that this is a bad thing, I'm totally grateful to be working a lot when the alternative is the exact opposite for much of the world right now. 

However, all this work made me too tired to do much of anything this weekend, so I spent my memorial day washing dishes, cleaning my room, and taking a long walk across BK to one of my favorite spots, the Vietnamese sandwich shop. I got myself a "spicy classic" and a strawberry bubble tea. Now, usually I'm not big on the bubble tea (I find it a little to sweet and milky), but this strawberry one is much more tea-like and actually has real strawberry chunks in it. AMAZING on a warm summer day. 

As I have learned over my two years in the city, no walk would be complete without comments from some creep and this one was without exception...

As I was literally half a block away from my house, I saw a young man washing his car. I admit, I was eyeing his hose, but that was ONLY because I was thinking, "I could wash my bike off with that". 

Silly, silly me to let me guard down and give him the opportunity to talk to me.

Creep: Can I "something inaudible"?

Me: What? 

Creep: Can I have some of you? Can I taste you girl?

Me: No.

At least he was polite enough to ask first. 

 

Genius!

I met this guy in Union Square last weekend and thought I should share. He makes sock puppet portraits, which I find hilarious. I bought a very expressive one of Charles Dickens. He is now sitting on my desk at work inspiring me to make it through the week so I can go back to Union Square and buy more. 

Four One Six

If any of you are unaware, I went to Virginia Tech and I was on campus two years ago today when a disturbed(to say the least) student killed thirty-two people and then him self. 

I still can't quite figure out how I feel about the events and the two years afterwards, but I felt I should contribute something other than the "We. Are. Virginia. Tech." currently occupying my Facebook status. It goes without saying that this anniversary deserves more that four words on a social network page. So here goes. 

From the first seconds of the day I felt that something was off. I remember on my walk to work I kept looking at the date on my watch and thinking I had forgotten someone's birthday or a deadline I had at work.

Later, when I stood at the window watching the police surround Norris, I had no clue what I was witnessing. Even when I went home and continued to watch events unfold on CNN, everything remained surreal. The television allowed for a certain amount of distance, it was like watching any other new event; you feel sad for the people on the TV, but your life is not directly affected. 

For me it didn't solidify until that evening when I went to the vigil. As I stood in the crowd of people singing Amazing Grace I felt like I was just playing a part. All of it so familiar from similar scenes in movies and newscasts. It wasn't until I heard from the back of the crowd, "Let's go...!" and then everyone(myself included) responding, "Hokies!" that my heart sank and I began to cry. From there it just got worse. At about 10pm I received an email saying that my friend and co-worker Jaime was on of the victims. I had spent all day trying to think of everyone I knew who might have been in that building and Jaime was the one who never crossed my mind. Sometimes I still feel like if I had simply remembered to think of him, maybe he would still be alive.  

I realize that many of my words are cliche and its frustrating to not be able to fully express or understand the many emotions that are breed from an occasion such as this. But this is my offering, more for myself than for anyone reading, but it's here none the less. 

So, two years later here I am. I will go to a vigil tonight at Madision Square Park and stand with my fellow Hokies and remember. And that's all I want from everyone else. Please acknowledge this day. If you know a Hokie or see one on the street take five seconds to tell them that you haven't forgotten.

To all of my friends and especially those whom I met at Tech, I love you and wouldn't trade my time there for anything in the world. 

Sunday in the Park

The weather is finally starting to clean up its act here in the city and Sunday was an exceptionally nice day. After biking to the gym and then getting my favorite vietnamese sandwich at Hanco's in Carol Gardens, I head to Union Square to hang out with my friend Virginia and her family. When it came time to get back on the bike and head home, Virginia broke the new to my girl Georgia (her 3 year old daughter) and Georgia's response was to stare at me with those huge olive-colored eyes and say, "Do you want to come to our new apartment and then go home?"

I responded that I had to work the next day so I couldn't to which she replied, "No you don't."

I wish that was the case, Georgia, but seeing as I do not want to be homeless, I sadly did have to go to work today. But the good news is, I know what it feels like for someone to want your company so badly that they say so. I love that kid. 

The Extra Man Set

Right outside of my office the movie, The Extra Man was being filmed, so we went on down to check it out.

And who did we see but John C. Reilly...

AND Paul Dano (to the right of the camera head turned)...

AND Kevin Kline(below the boom mic)!

Excellent celebrity sighting. 

This is the set guy whose expression tells you how he felt about Colin yelling out, "Steve Brule, we love you!" Totally worth it though because John C. Reilly gave us a little love back by flashing us the rock sign in return. Rock on John, rock on. 

Nice Use of Modern Technology

I saw this on Wired.com and thought I would share. Instances like these make me really happy we have the internet and services like flickr. Otherwise this exhibit would only be seen by those who have the time, money, and are in proximity to the museum where they are kept.  

WARNING: a couple of these photos are not for those with weak stomachs. 

Just the Tip

For all my sexually frustrated friends out there, just know, you could be this turtle. Suggestions for the sound the turtle makes include, but are not limited to:

- a ring tone
- mystery sound contest on a local radio station
- remix with a Britney Spears song

For Erin

This is why I want a night cap. Also, this video is sweet and so is the blog itself. 

Has anyone else ever done this?

Bones by The Killers is much more entertaining if when it gets to the refrain and says, 

"Don't you want to come with me? Don't you want to feel my bones, on your bones? It's only natural. Don't you want to swim with me? Don't you want to feel my skin? On your skin? It's only natural."

You instead sing, "don't you want to feel me skin? My FOREskin?"

It's only natural guys. 

Getting Excited!

This is the view from where I will be staying when I go to Spain in April.

Dear Mr. Smith

My love for you grows daily. 

You make me pound on my key board- desperate to be a pro.

Will your essence please radiate from the space between my fingers and these keys?

No!

I want to dance! 

I can't do that either. 

When first we met, I admit my love for you was shallow. Attracted by your tragic death and melancholy  words, a "sad panda" like me needed a wretch like you. 

do do

                                        do

                                              do

                                                   dooooooo.

Then! Your catchy melodies and sound from an era familiar yet before me brought new appreciation and we became friends- the best of them.

I put your songs on my iPod and overdosed. 

Now a middle schooler with an object of affection- every letter signed: XOXOXO

But you remained unknown to me. Each album landed in my brain one by one

building a home,

with a basement,

on a hill. 

Other outlets satisfy my yearnings from time to time, but you always find me and understand that the lesser things in life are necessary for the identification of that which is grand. And Elliott, our love is grand.

Admittedly, I don't know your works in whole. Pieces that others have fearlessly ravaged remain alien to me. The missing bits will approach me in time. I don't go looking. Is that not the curse of any desperate lover?

I have more than I need for now. Any part of you is more than I hope for in another. 

Besides,

I am in no rush. 

Your life may be over, but mine is ideally

the inverse. 

I will never claim to be your biggest fan, nor the first to profess my love.

All I wish to say dear is this:

Something from you calls to me,

begs me to push out everything from within.

To write my stories, to tell my tale.

No mater how somber, 

no matter how irrationally hopeful,

no matter how naive,

no matter how ultimately disappointing

and, 

incomplete,

it can still be:

beautiful

satisfying

inspiring

More than that. It will finally be

                                                            outside

                                                                             of

me.

A Film You May Not Have Heard Of

Movies are a constant in my life. I love going to the theater and will rarely turn down an invitation. Snakes on a Plane? I was there opening night bitches. Living in New York has oly increased my love for actual theaters because the audiences here are great. Doesn't matter what you see, people fill the seats AND know who the director is.

However, several factors over the past year have caused me to not go as frequently as I normally do. Factors, most of you can relate to such as; money, time, and no one to make out with if the movie stinks. Also, the writer's strike last year didn't exactly make for the best Oscar season. My point is, I've become increasingly picky about what I see in the theater and what can wait for Netflix.

I have a feeling there are others out there in my position, so I wanted to share with you a film called Let the Right One In. Yes, it's about vampires, and yes it contains a lot of vampire movie cliches but it's not your typical twilight type movie, so don't be deterred. To me it felt more like an old-school thriller from the seventies. Some parts are cheesy as hell, but I promise you, you'll be into(at one point I actually pointed at the screen).

All I'm saying is, if you've already seen Slumdog Millionaire and you're looking for something fun and satisfying, check it out. If you insist on being stuck up, then maybe you should go check out Frost/Nixon. And please, let me know how it is because I don't know a single person who's seen it.

For those of us who live in the Hood

Check this out.

Busted

Me: So I was thinking about reading the John Updike Rabbit series

Jen: I've read those, you would like them

Me: They seem interesting, I heard he described the main character as the town itself

Jen: And you love your middle class disillusionment 

For the New Yorker in You

Two in one day. I know, I'm just to much. Somebody stop me.

I wanted to share this link my friend Virginia sent me. It's proof that once you've spent some time in the city, New York is everywhere.

THIS is why I'm fat.

I keep getting this spam with the subject line: Kathleen, THIS is why you're fat - Please don't be disgusted though, it's NOT your fault." The body of the email goes like this:

Hi Kathleen,

My name is Suzanne, and I'm a real doctor that would like to show you why
you may be "fat" and why you're unable to lose weight no matter how hard you
try.

First off, please always know that it's not your fault...I would like to
show you the disgusting truth right now as to what is keeping you fat!

Press here to see the disgusting truth that is keeping you from losing fat:
http://liveitemization.info/truth

After you see what the problem is, I will then show you how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.

Thank you!

Dr. Suzanne

How many times in one email can you use the word disgusting? At lest three. And I still don't know why I'm fat. *sigh*

Arian Nation

Has anyone noticed how all the anchors on CNN (particularly on the morning shows) seem to have bright blue eyes? Am I the only one who's disturbed by this? 

I know, I know.

I was hoping my blog would make it longer than a few months before I had to make one of these posts, but let's face it, the silence has gone too long to ignore. So, here is my official apology for not updating in waaaay too long. It's not that I haven't had anything to write about, it's just the usual things you'd expect: first there was Christmas at my parents with no internet (and an amount of insanity too overwhelming for me to find blog appropriate angle of humor). Then there was the fact that the heat in my apartment has been so inconsistent that most evenings are spent hiding under several blankets, so typing on the computer and exposing my delicate hands was NOT and option. Then it got to the point where it had been so long since posting that people started to comment in person and then it was like, "well now I need to come up with something really entertaining to write about... shit."

So, I decided rather than hide from the expectations I had created in my head, I would just post this, which says nothing. For your sake and mine, I hope the next post is more fulfilling.