Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Creeps in Colorado

I went on vacation last week (yay!) and my first stop was to visit my friend Nik in Boulder, Colorado. One day he had to work, so I decided to take myself to the local pool. As I crossed the street I ran into two young gentlemen who asked where I was going.

Me: The pool
Gentlemen: No, you're coming to the creek with us
Me: Ok

I soon found out that one of the guys had a girlfriend at home who was 7-months pregnant. But don't you worry, that didn't spoil his fun one bit. He still tried to hit on every female he laid his eyes on, including (but not limited to) the other dude's girlfriend who thought she might be pregnant as well. When I asked him why he wasn't at home taking care of his gf he replied, "do you know what women who are 7 months pregnant are like, she's always made at me." 

I thought about saying, "maybe it's because you're drunk at noon on a tuesday", but I didn't want to be rude. I reserve rudeness specifically for my good friends and family.

At this point in the story you might be wondering why I would hang out with people such as these and well... it goes like this:

1. I was already wearing bathing suit 
2. The pool cost SIX DOLLARS and the creek is FREE
3. I had sneaking suspicion that these guys would make great material for this blog

For those of you who are still thinking this story reeks of Natalee Holloway, don't worry, they only tied me up in a dark basement for like 3 days. And there was a heat wave so I didn't mind (kidding of course). 

Anywho, on our way we were retrieved by the other guy's girlfriend and then we picked up the biggest creep of all and his blue pit (who was actually very cute, but ended up beating the shit out of another dog while we were there, but that's another story all together). 

Once we got to the creek everyone started drinking and enjoying other substances...things like vitamin D (you know, from the sun, what did you think I was referring to?). When people get loosened up and aren't used to being around a person as short as me, they find it hard to stop commenting on my height and take it upon themselves to say things that are SO original like, "Where did Katie go? Oh I didn't see you down there" HAHAHA!! I get it. I'm short, so you can't see me because I'm just sooooo short. Congratulations you made an observation and remembered a joke and THEN you were able to repeat it in this specific situation AND you were inebriated. Wow, you know, when I say it like that it is quite remarkable, especially when you consider that these boys obviously can't even put on a condom correctly. 

So everyone is there and we're all making jokes about how amazingly small and young looking I am, and this is when the biggest creep of all decides to speak up on my behalf by saying, "You know, I actually think it's really hot that you look so young."

Me: I don't know how to respond to that.
Me: Does that mean you like to do little girls?
BCOA: (in a totally stoned voice) uhhhhhh....I was just trying to say you're hot.

And this is when he hung his head in shame and walked away for a total of five minutes after which he came back to try again. 

1 comment:

  1. It makes me feel so good to live next to such upstanding citizens.

    You forgot the part about the guy passing out in the grass in front of the house. Classy.