5 Reasons Not to go to Work if You're Feeling Sick

1. You might throw up on yourself.

2. You might throw up on yourself while on the train.

3. You might throw up on yourself while on the train, and then Subway (sandwiches) won't let you use their bathroom, so they refer you to McDonald's where they have no paper towels.

4. You might throw up on yourself while on the train, and then Subway (sandwiches) won't let you use their bathroom, so they refer you to McDonald's where they have no paper towels, and there might not be any cabs to take you home, so you will have to ride the bus home smelling like and covered in your own vomit. 

5. Do you really need a fifth reason?