New Sunday Night Ritual

So it's been some months since I've engaged in "the sex" and my only strategy up to this point has been to pretend that it doesn't exist. If I am watching the TV and a "lovemaking" scene comes on, I quickly change the channel. Can anyone say CNN? If my friends start talking about it I just zone out like I do when my roommate starts saying she needs to break up with her boyfriend. Why get my hopes up thinking that day (and/or I) will ever come? 

To make matters worse, my ex-boyfriend recently informed me that he doesn't need sex. His exact words were, "I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal about it. I guess some people just need it to feel good about themselves." 

Thank you for informing me that I'm the only one suffering through this break-up. That really makes this whole thing a lot easier. I'm so glad we've remained friends!

Back to my original point, I'm now getting to what certain fictional characters would refer to as phase 2 of a break-up; picturing yourself with other people. I knew I was ready to do this a couple of Sundays ago when I unexpectedly got a hot delivery guy and was embarrassed to be standing there in my camp t-shirt and snowflake pajama pants. 

The next Sunday I ordered from the same place and made sure I was looking a little more "decent", which means that this time, I put a bra on under my camp t-shirt. Sure I'll take home this brochure about my 401K options, but hell if I'm ready to give 5% of my paycheck away in this market. 

Unfortunately it was a much less attractive brand of delivery boy who showed up at my door. The kind you might find in a homemade porno versus a professional one. But right now this fantasy is ALL I HAVE, so I plan on ordering sushi every Sunday until I can take a picture of professional porno delivery guy and post it to this blog and/or invite him in to have some sushi. 

Stayed tuned...