To make matters worse, my ex-boyfriend recently informed me that he doesn't need sex. His exact words were, "I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal about it. I guess some people just need it to feel good about themselves."
Thank you for informing me that I'm the only one suffering through this break-up. That really makes this whole thing a lot easier. I'm so glad we've remained friends!
Back to my original point, I'm now getting to what certain fictional characters would refer to as phase 2 of a break-up; picturing yourself with other people. I knew I was ready to do this a couple of Sundays ago when I unexpectedly got a hot delivery guy and was embarrassed to be standing there in my camp t-shirt and snowflake pajama pants.
The next Sunday I ordered from the same place and made sure I was looking a little more "decent", which means that this time, I put a bra on under my camp t-shirt. Sure I'll take home this brochure about my 401K options, but hell if I'm ready to give 5% of my paycheck away in this market.
Unfortunately it was a much less attractive brand of delivery boy who showed up at my door. The kind you might find in a homemade porno versus a professional one. But right now this fantasy is ALL I HAVE, so I plan on ordering sushi every Sunday until I can take a picture of professional porno delivery guy and post it to this blog and/or invite him in to have some sushi.