Back to Reality

This post is brought to you via my office. Yes I am still at work and yes this is regular thing. In my opinion, today is where the real challenge of this project begins. Working late means less time to meditate, exercise, blog and all that, but it also means applying the stress that can trigger old thought patterns. I did ok today. I recognized a lot of behavioral patterns in others which made me feel pretty calm. If someone always behaves the same way, it can't be you causing it and the only thing you can really change is the way you react to it. I don't have time to delve too deeply, but I am really noticing how working on one's mind and attitude everyday can significantly alter a life. Just think of it this way, you should practice being happy in equal or more proportion to the amount you practice being grumpy...
If that's too overwhelming (some of us practice being grumpy A LOT) just think, there are only so many hours in the day, so if I spend a few practicing being happy, then I am taking time away from being grumpy, in essence, being grumpy less. Then pretty soon you could be grumpyless. Ah math. Ah The Bolshevik Revolution. (The later is a joke from AP History in high school where we were discussing something to do with the Bolsheviks and my friend just said, "ah The Bolshevik Revolution". We found it very funny and started saying it at random. Sometimes I still do.)

Meditated this morning for 15 minutes, got incredibly distracted, but it still helped  me prepare for the day.

Highs:
- overcame major stress with minimal effort
- helped a coworker which made me feel knowledgeable and compassionate (or something)
- don't even really mind that I'm still at work
- had delicious free sesame crusted rare tuna with wasabi mashed(how pretentious is it when people say "smashed") potatoes (perk of the job)

Laters!

Tuesday Blues

Meditation last night was ok, then briefly awesome, then ok, then awesome, then ALARM. I did 15 minutes and just as I was back into my groove, the alarm went off. I'm really hating mediating to an alarm, but if I didn't I would just be wondering how long I had been meditating the whole time, so alarm it is.

I have been extremely hormonal today. Most of the day was alright because no one was making many demands on me, but when I got home too late to go to Yoga class and my dog was up in my face I found myself feeling very short tempered. At first I tried to ignore him for awhile and loose myself in the abyss of the interweb, but that was exacerbating the issue because he really just wanted my attention. Finally I gave in and decided to do something I had been putting off; trimming his bangs and cleaning the gunk out of his eyes. Not the funnest task, but it provided some bonding time and we both felt better afterwards. I'm still feeling antsy, so I'm going to go clean my bathroom, which always makes me feel better because I love to have CONTROL over my surroundings. Another thing I'd like to work on, but in this case I will have a clean bathroom and won't be holding it against my roommates (that I am doing it once AGAIN) because I was really sick last week, so I should be the person cleaning in there.

Highs:
- trimmed dogs face
- got another pair of coveted shoes in the mail today (these are the last pair I swear)
- it's snowing and it's pretty

Laters!

P.S. This documentary is cool and slightly relevant to my comments about how the subway can be cool.

Buddha Took the Train WIth Me Today

Today the MTA was in top form, doing what they do best, sucking. It took more than 30 minutes to get about 2 miles from my house. The announcements weren't very informative or easy to hear (per usual) and of course every train was insanely crowded due to all the re-routed people. Fortunately for me I was all Zen and reading my Buddha book. I realized there wasn't really anything I could do(and for some reason the lack of control didn't freak me out as it often does), so I just tried to focus on the chapter I was reading while everyone else fell apart around me.

I recently went through a similar situation while traveling during the holidays. Man people are mean when they're stressed and nothing brings about stress like trying to get to a place you don't really want to go so you can hang out with a bunch of people you don't really want to hang out with...for days on end. Am I right? On my way back to the city, one charmer said to the lady collecting tickets, "answer my fucking question, you fucking pussy." He said this in such a nasty tone that one lady requested to get off the bus and take the next one because she was uncomfortable being on the bus with him. In this case, I was so grateful to be headed back to New York that I again found myself not troubled by the overcrowded, dirty bus, which decided to stop in Baltimore and Philadelphia before finally arriving in New York after more than six hours.

Today I should have been that person though. I was already late to begin with, but the kind of late where if you catch a train right away (as well as your connecting train) there is a chance you will be right on time. (I LOVE to hang onto the dream of being on time) This was also an important day at work because our owner/founder was arriving and I knew he would be at the office at 9am sharp. So we've got the stress of already running late, the desire to look good in front of the boss and for some reason I was perfectly calm and composed to the point where I found everyone else's huffing and puffing quite humorous.

Could this Buddha stuff be working? I think so and here's why. When I was reflecting on my day just now I started thinking, does the MTA really suck? Really? Actually, it's pretty great. It goes nearly everywhere in 4 of the 5 boroughs. It's so accessible that most people don't need a car. It gets me to work in 30 minutes most days. Even with the recent fare hikes, it's only $104 for unlimited rides on all the trains and buses. Lets think about this. How much do most people pay a month for gas, auto insurance, car payment, oil changes, unexpected repairs?  Yes of course a car is much more convenient, but who really wants to have a car in New York City anyway? I'm not saying that there aren't improvements to be made and money that is certainly going to waste, but there is a time and a place to get revved up about it. If it really bothers you that much go to the meetings, voice your opinion, get involved, vote. This is a wild guess here, but I bet the huffers on the train this morning haven't done a damn thing but complain. One could say it's the huffers that make the train so unpleasant. If I consider that I haven't done a damn thing to try to improve the MTA, the mass transit options in New York are pretty great. Arguably so great that we take it for granted that a train is going to show up within 2 minutes during our morning commute. I know I do. I remember recently standing on the platform and thinking, "This is taking FOREVER."

Then I looked at my watch and I had been standing there for 3 minutes. So you have to wonder? Who has the problem? Who was standing in the way of my happiness? The MTA? or Me?

Highs:
- my Swedish Hasbeens arrived in the mail today! I know this isn't very Buddhist, but they are so beautiful and I have wanted them for so long.
- I'm feeling very content and grateful, peaceful even
- motivated myself to do some things I'd been putting of at work

Laters!

P.S. Have not meditated yet, was dead tried this morning from all the working out this weekend. Will be upping my time to 15 minutes though :)

P.P.S. The MTA also has a really fascinating history and some straight up beautiful stations.

Sunday Funday

Today was my first time visiting the Brooklyn branch of the meditation center I attend. Overall it was a great experience. Since this was my first visit I confess I was distracted by being in a new environment and listening to a new teacher, who by the way, looked a LOT like Mel Gibson and had crazy blue eyes. I had also come straight from spin class and was a tad late. It took a minute for me to go from crazy cardio workout mode to clam mediation mode.

Other than my personal issues with distracting and sarcastic thoughts, the class was quite nice. The session was the second in a series on mediation, which was perfect since, hey! I'm trying to learn how to meditate real good. The way the classes at this particular meditation center go are as follows: guided 20 minute meditation, talk, short closing meditation. To start, we did an easy breathing meditation like I discussed briefly the other day. It's a very simple(but not always easy) "beginner" meditation where you try to hold your focus on your breath for the duration of the meditation.

We then went into a discussion about why it's important to learn how to meditate/practice Buddhism and not simply agree with the ideas. Ideas like, everyone has great potential. You can't just say, "yes" and be done with it. You need to think about what that actually means, You need to get inspired and most importantly, you need to practice. He pointed out how ridiculous it is that our culture doesn't automatically assume that you need to spend time maintaining your mind. We do all these things everyday to maintain our bodies, but most people don't take any time to work on their minds.

Another thing he said that I really enjoyed was in relation to self-medicating. He said we all do it all the time. We get home and sit down and then immediately we need to start doing something, have some kind of distraction because the second we sit alone with ourselves we begin to suffer. It's like we truly believe that suffering is the default state, the reality. But what if it's not?

He pointed out that we seem to believe our brain affects our mind, but that our mind does not affect out brain. For example, if we can get our brain chemistry right, then our mind will be right. But this is only a temporary fix, this does not fix the real problem, it just gets rid of the symptoms for a short period of time, often with side effects. This isn't to say that pills aren't helpful. If you can take a pill to relieve your symptoms and get you to a calm state, so that you can carry out your life and your practices than that's great, but the point is, you still need to practice. Practice being happy. There is no "quick fix" out there. It's easy to be depressed or stuck in a state of suffering because we have so much practice doing it because again, we believe that's reality. If we can practice being happy then it will get easier and easier to be happy. Happiness can become our reality. Then nothing can touch us, no matter the situation.

Anyway, I'm just paraphrasing some of the thoughts that I personally took away from today's class. I'd love to hear what you have to say on these topics, if anything. If not, I hope you at least find them as comforting and inspiring as I do.

Yes, I know, he really needs a haircut.

Here are my highs:
- think the food poisoning has officially left the building (aka my body)
- got to do a lot of things done today
- my dog is playing with a PBR can (he's so hip)
- speaking of PBR saw a funny sign at the grocery store that read; "hipsters fall in love with PBR again, cases on sale"
- listened to an awesome episode of The Moth tonight on NYC Public Radio

Saturday

It's Saturday, so I won't keep you long. Got up this morning and went to an 8:30am Yoga class. It was a really bizarre class because it was incredibly fast paced. Usually I'm all for cardio, but when I go to Yoga I want some time to focus on my poses. This felt like a race. The instructor did a nice reading at the end about how most people think too little of themselves because they think "who am I to be great". Her point was who are you not to be great? Excellent point. Let's keep that in mind for today (or for life). Everyone has greatness inside them and I am a firm believer that people hold themselves back more than any other factor in life. Not saying that some circumstances aren't extremely tough, but I find that my own mind can be my worst enemy especially at difficult times.

In other news, meditation was so so. I think it time for me to up up my time to 15 or 20 minutes. It's become easy for me to get into my flow, so I think it's time to start getting it on with Buddha.

Highs:
- got up early and got shit done
- took a mid-day nap, my fav
- going to hang out with some fun friends tonight
- feeling really creative/motivated about many things in life right now

Laters!

Thoughts: Week One

I realize it hasn’t been a full week, but I do what I want so, deal. I have now meditated for 5 days consecutively. And yes, I meditated already today. Go me. I have only exercised once, but I think I can squeeze in the other two over the weekend.

I read a passage about meditating on taking and giving in Transform Your Life by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso. The temple I attend follows his teachings, so I bought this book under their recommendation. I find it readable, and the passages sited during temple are always appropriate. However, I haven't read any other Buddhism books, so I'm still forming an opinion. 

The reading was basically about how we can use our breath during mediation to imagine taking in all other creature's suffering and breathing back out enlightenment, thus freeing everyone from pain and suffering, one breath at a time. He mentions how many people choose to focus only on their breath while meditating, but if we focus on freeing others from suffering we can do some good too. If we can do this during meditation we can then start to do it as habit during our daily activities. 

What I gleaned from all of this was; it's just good practice to put positive energy out into the universe. I found this passage oddly appropriate as yesterday was a day where I found myself a counselor (of sorts) to a few people who were having a tough time with things beyond their control. I went into my meditation last night with this in mind and I was pretty pleased with the results. At first I was confused because I was thinking, "wait, how am I supposed to be thinking about fixing other people's problems when the whole point of mediation is not to think?"

Then I just kept focusing on my breadth and somehow I was just "being" (oh I know that sounds really cliche and unbelievable, but stick with me). I was simultaneously taking in that negative energy and breathing back out positive energy, but not really thinking about it, just doing it. I'm not really sure how it happened and once I became aware it was happening it was hard to keep it because then I was all "I'm totally doing this, oh shit, well I'm not anymore".

All I can really say is that it started with specific thoughts of people who(m) I know are suffering, but that was all transcended fairly quickly. It was rad man. Needless to say, I was so impressed with myself that I got up this morning and was like, "I'm doing that shit again". So, I focussed on the same meditation this morning and it was nice as well.

I couldn't believe how ready for the day I felt. I felt like I do when I get up and go to a pilates class before work, except I had only been awake for 15 minutes. Incredible. All in all it's been a great week. Thanks for reading. Hope you have gained something from all of this.

Here are highs:

- it's Friday

- it snowed some big chunky flakes this morning

- I placed some exciting internet orders today

- I'm feeling really positive about the direction our office is headed

- my friend's kid is hanging out with me tonight. funny phrases are guaranteed.

Laters!

Hmmmfff

Work isn't killing me or anything, but over the break I became accustomed to a certain amount of alone time and now that everyone has emerged from the holidays it's a lot to take. I've got information and social obligations flying at me from all directions. Just feeling a little...disoriented.

Meditating last night was utterly useless, was too tired. Thoughts were bouncing all over the place and I was convinced that 10 minutes was an impossible amount of time to sit still. Really need to start getting up earlier.

Here are the highs:
- spent some quality time with my new boss, she's really cool
- had some time to work on a personal edit
- had strong sense that my career was moving forward

That's it for now. I've got a few non-routine posts coming up, so stay tuned.

Laters!